dreich

Its been a funny old week. As soon as I got back home, I've been in hyper-organise mode. Which is great because now everything is sorted, apart from the final packing & shipping. Mum and I bought out Superdrug of most of their toiletries this morning, and most of the big things are bought. The t-chests and other boxes are coming tomorrow morning and I'll be seeing family in the coming few days. Just think, in a week's time I will be in Amsterdam waiting for my flight to Nairobi...

My mood is going up and down like a yo-yo at the moment. Sometimes I am really excited about going and really eager to get out there and get started. But a lot of the time there is just an underlying fear of the unknown. I wouldn't call it blind panic but the enormity of leaving UK for 2 years is beginning to dawn on me. On top of that, i'm really missing hanging out with good friends in London.

So basically, feeling a bit dreich at the moment. Its a bit like that final big jump at the end of gorge-walking. There is always a big jump off a cliff into a pool, that is surrounded by big dangerous rocks. You know you're (probably) not going to die and you know you want to do it. But the fear of not knowing what it will feel like when you actually jump off and land in the water makes you hesitate. Hesitating too long is not helpful, you just need to run and jump off. Unfortunately, I've got the next week to stand at the edge of the cliff. But i know I won't hit the dangerous rocks because I'm in God's hands.