decisions decisions

making decisions is hard. There is the process of prayerful consideration of your options, listening to God's voice and coming to a point of peace with your decision. But then there is the realization of that decision. actually committing to a decision is the hardest part i think.

For a long time, I had thought i would stay in Rwanda after my ODI fellowship. It would have given me a chance to serve church for a few more months, invest in friendships that bit longer and postpone the difficult task of finding something to follow such a challenging and inspiring experience. However, this decision never sat easily with me.

So i set aside a good portion of time to ask God what he wanted of me next and to listen to His answer. I didn't like the answer. I didn't like that it meant I would have to add myself to the stream of people leaving Kigali, that i'd let friends down, that i'd disappoint my boss, that i'd have to change my world yet again, that i'd have to say goodbye to a church community that i love deeply. But as God does, he gave that deep conviction that this is the way He is guiding, regardless of how I feel about it.

Now, I am in full job hunting mode. My contract will end in mid-October which is creeping closer and closer. Where next? I have no idea. But its a big world out there to discover.